Forgiveness is a gift!

"Bitterness and an unforgiving spirit can be likened to you taking poison and expecting that someone else would die from the effect. Forgiveness is about setting the prisoner in your heart free only to discover that all along, you had been the real prisoner." - Tope Popoola 

How many times have you been hurt or betrayed by some else? How often did you forgive them for what they did to you? In how many cases do you still carry the pain with you because you have not forgiven them? How much does it still hurt you? How much do you think it still hurts them?

From my positive point of view: Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself! It is a release from the burden of anger and pain. It clears your brain and creates a positive mindset! When you choose to forgive, you choose to live in the present and the future instead of the past. It does not mean to forget but it does mean to release and go on. Forgiveness doesn't happen on it's own, you must choose to forgive.  

Forgiving doesn't always mean resuming a relationship with whoever has hurt you. If a person won't meet you halfway or has been abusive, it may be better to forgive simply to make your own life less stressful, but continue to keep your safe distance. That way, you can protect yourself but still reap the benefits. Try some useful tips I've found for mending a broken bond: 

  1. Gather & feel the frustration
  2. Focus on what's in it for you
  3. Breathe in calm
  4. Turn the details of your story around

You may have been hurt by something that your partner did to you or by something your direct leader at work said to you. You may have been hurt because your expectations weren't met. You may have been hurt and you don't even remember why... You may have done something to someone else that you are now very sorry for. And you remember the pain and carry it with you like a grudge everywhere you go... When your burden becomes too great, it becomes the relationship, it consumes your life and it changes who you are and what your relationships can be. It is a wall between you and the intimacy that you seek. It keeps bothering you, it keeps limiting you, it keeps blocking you…..

When you forgive: Forgive is defined as: giving up resentment against or the desire to punish; stop being angry with; pardon. You relieve yourself of the burden of the past. You shed the hurt, pain, anger, and loneliness. You can begin to heal. You give the person you forgive (even yourself) the freedom to live in peace and to be able to change for the better!

Points about forgiveness:

Forgiveness is not forgetting! The pain may not be completely gone. One can forgive and still grieve a loss or feel pain from a deep wound. Damage and wounds can take time to repair. Forgiveness does not deny responsibility for behaviour. You have simply committed to not hold the other person in debt. Every person is doing their best given their upbringing and their conditioning. We each are doing the very best we can with what we have been given. As we know better, we do better.

Ways to forgive:

To help you develop and/or improve your forgiveness skills, please find below an individual exercise in forgiveness. Just read it a couple of times, think about it and then start your first exercise by following the steps below:

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Now you’ll understand why forgiveness is a very positive gift you give to yourself and how you can give it!  I would like to wish you lots of joy and excitement in giving these relief gifts to yourself and helping/coaching others to do the same!!! - by Patrick Driessen & Jim Rohn

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” - Ghandi

Make this a Positive & Fruitful Day….unless you have other plans!

Thanks, best regards & success,

Patrick Driessen